Is that short for anything?

No. Yes. Yes, and no. No—and yes? But only sort of? It’s from a name, but it also is a name. It’s not from that name. Please just call me by the name I introduce myself with…

I’m genderfluid and my chosen name is gender-neutral. Relatively. Except that everyone assumes it’s a nickname: “Nat? Is that short for Natalie?”

No, it’s not. Nat is my chosen name. I started using it about five years ago, and I’m now considering legally changing my name to Nat. In medical and legal contexts, when my birth name comes up, I get uncomfortable. It’s not that I don’t recognize the name; it just feels like they’re talking about someone else.

Now that I’ve adjusted to being Nat, my birth name is like an old skin I’ve shed. So when I’m greeted with the question “Is that short for something?”, there’s something strange about the scenario. Like people want to see the old, dead skin. Which still exists—somewhere—but isn’t necessarily something I want to carry around and display.

So I’ve taken to saying no, it’s not short for anything. It’s just Nat. N-A-T. (And my pronouns are they/them.)

There are vestiges of my birth name that trail me: anyone who’s known me for more than a few years, sees my driver’s license, or knows me well is likely to know that version of my name. Sometimes I refer to it as a “deadname,” but…