Why Gender Desegregation is Essential to the Abolition Movement

White men aren’t more racist than white women. But cis white men are more violent (directly), while cis white women know exactly how to weaponize white male violence against Black people. All white people are complicit in anti-Blackness; toxic white masculinity is one of the primary vectors through which it is performed.

As I think about police abolition and prison abolition, I keep coming back to questions of violence and toxic masculinity. White supremacy and patriarchy are deeply intertwined. Historically, there was a preference for having sons in order to pass down one’s name and inheritance; now, data suggests that Americans prefer having daughters, believing they’re easier to raise. From the moment a fetus is gendered, parents and everyone they know form expectations around how an infant’s genitalia corresponds to their future life. The only important question anyone has for a pregnant person is “What are you having?”, as if the given (human) is superseded by the category (boy or girl).

Girls are taught skills of nurturing, emotional resilience, care, and community. Boys are punished for emotional expression and connection, as well as anything else associated with femininity or “weakness” (including peaceful resolution skills). All the while, patriarchal ideals are reinforced daily — even by denouncing…